Week 6: Fear Stinks

Good morning, everybody! Welcome to the final week of our "Leave It To Love It" series. If you're just joining us, this series is all about taking the things that hold us back and weigh us down and bagging them up and throwing them in the metaphorical garbage so we can live lighter, freer and experience the abundant life that Jesus wants us to have. So far we've talked about the garbage of guilt. We've talked about the stench of shame. We took two weeks to learn how to bin the bitterness. But today, we are talking about what may be the smelliest, most rancid trash of them all.

Fear.

Fear is a daunting topic. Even the mention of fear can bring up feelings of fear in people. So before we go any further, I want to ask you to pray with me - that God would give us a spirit of power and love in this place and that He would give us peace in our heart while we talk about kicking fear out. Would you pray with me?

PRAYER

Amen. Allow me to begin with an eloquent statement summing up how I feel about the baggage of fear that weighs us down.

Fear stinks!

And fear not only stinks, it spreads. It doesn't stay contained in one place. And soon the stench of fear leaks into every area of your life keeping us stuck, frozen and ineffective. Fear robs of our joy by robbing us of opportunities, by convincing us to settle for just a small portion of the blessings and wonder that God has for us because fear gives us the message "it's scary out there. What if things don't work out. What if you fail?" "Bad things could happen." Just be okay with where you are. At least you know it. It may not be the most abundant life, but it's familiar and therefore it's not scary. Fear convinces us to avoid any possible pain or unknown outcomes and and become passive observers to our own futures, rather than active participants in it. And here's something that's absolutely tragic - carry that fear along with you long enough, and it won't just be yours. You'll pass it on to other family members and friends. You'll pass it down through the generations if that fear is strong enough. And all of these reasons and more is why we need to toss the terror and fling the fear into the dumpster.

Now, there is a possibility here that someone might be saying to themselves - wait a second, Josh. Fear - has a purpose. Fear is meant to keep us safe.

Right. I don't disagree with you. Fear does have a purpose. Sometimes fear is useful. For example - fear is why you don't walk through a sketchy neighborhood at midnight with noise cancelling headphones on wearing all your bling. You have a fear of becoming a statistic. A victim. Fine.

Fear is why you look both ways before crossing the street. Yes, it's common sense too, but you are afraid of being hit by a car so you look both ways.

Fear is why when your hillbilly cousin says, "Hey, look at this wild, angry badger I found out back of the house - you want to pet it?!" - you say, "Absolutely not." You are afraid of looking like you went on a date with Freddy Krueger and you are afraid of being featured on an episode of World's Dumbest People.

The purpose of fear is to act as a warning system. Fear, when it is doing its job, is meant to make you aware of possible danger.

When I was a kid, I did some acting in Hollywood. Nothing that you'd recognize me from, but it put me through college. I'm still available for voice over work and my SAG card is active… okay - but I started when I was like 10 I think. And my dad, he worked as a firefighter/paramedic, so he couldn't always go with my mom and I to acting interviews and auditions. So a lot of times it would just be my mom and I in the late afternoons and early evenings down in Hollywood and the surrounding industry cities. Well, not all of these interviews were in a cushy office building or on the lot. Some were lower budget operations where the rent was cheaper in a rougher part of town. And parking wasn't always close. So sometimes, it would just be my mom and I walking through these neighborhoods to get to the audition and sometimes there were real individuals who looked like they stepped out of central casting for the bad guy of the week from Hill Street Blues.

And my mom would say a two word phrase to me without fail "heads up." As in be aware of your surroundings. If there was a sketchy looking dude, or somebody was following just a little bit too close.. "heads up."

Now here's the thing - my mom wasn't panicking. She wasn't spiraling. She wasn't turning us around and going "Get back in the car. It's too scary." She was just aware. And she wanted me to be as well. We were still gonna get to our destination - we were gonna get to that audition - she just wanted us to be aware of potential danger. That's healthy fear.

Healthy fear says "pay attention." "Heads up." Unhealthy fear says "freeze." Healthy fear says, "Be wise. Be aware." Unhealthy fear says "Don't move. In fact, turn around and go backwards. It's too scary out there." Healthy fear helps us walk through something. Unhealthy fear convinces you to never take a step at all.

Fear has a purpose…. But fear is a terrible boss. I think one of the most famous pieces of scripture about fear comes from the 23rd Psalm attributed to David. In verse 4 we read -

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid.Psalm 23:4

Now you may know it as

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil.Psalm 23:4

And I think there's a couple of important takeaways about fear here from these verses. First - it says "Even though I walk through the darkest valley…" "Even WHEN I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" - and in a way, it's kind of saying - there's gonna be times that you're in scary place. There's gonna be times when things around us may seem dark or scary. "Even when… I walk through the darkest valley." If you're never encountering situations that are a little bit scary - that at the least warrant the occasional "heads up" - are you even living? Truly. Are you LIVING or just existing.

Sometimes to reach the promised land, you gotta go through some dark valleys. In Paul's analogy - of 'running the race' that God has called us to - keeping our eyes focused on Jesus, sometimes in the marathon of life as we race to pursue abundant life and the advancement of God's Kingdom, sometimes the race can take us through a few miles of rough neighborhoods or back alleys, but you gotta press on and keep running to reach the finish line.

Notice that Psalm 23:4 doesn't say "Yay, though I stand there looking at the valley of the shadow of death." "Yay, thoughI go AROUND the valley of the shadow of death." It says

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I fear no evil.Psalm 23:4

And do you know why? Why can the Psalmist write this? Because fear isn't his boss. He knows who His boss is.

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you (God) are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.Psalm 23:4

This is not a denial that fear exists. This is not a denial that you're traveling through uncharted or scary territory. But it's a decision. Its a decision of who is in charge. It's a decision of who will dictate our fate and our the race we run - fear or our Father. David starts the 23rd Psalm with

The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.Psalm 23:1

See, I told you about walking through Hollywood with my mom when I was younger, in a place where there were certainly people looking at us like "victim, party of 2? Victim party of 2, your mugging is ready." But can I tell you something, I was alert. I was "heads up" but I wasn't paralyzed with fear. Because I wasn't alone. My mom was there. And I trusted her to take care of us and protect us. I also trusted in God. I was a believer back then too. And we prayed and asked for protection and I fully believed that He was with us.

Let me ask you a question - if you're walking down a dark alley alone, the kind of alley where Batman villains hang out - maybe like Hell's Kitchen from Daredevil… you might be a little scared, right? But what if we change the scenario a little bit. What if you're walking down that alley with Superman? Man of steel. Super everything. Heat ray vision if anyone comes to close. Can block bullets. Super speed. X-ray vision to see anybody coming around the corner. Superman - most powerful super hero in the DC universe. You gonna be scared now? Probably not. You may still get the signal - your body and brain chemistry may still produce that fear signal to let you know this isn't the safest of places, but I'm guessing if you're walking with Superman, you're probably thinking - "I got nothing to worry about here. Maybe you're even walking with a little bit of a swagger. You're in no hurry to get home, you're like, "Hey maybe we stop at an all night street taco truck while we're here." Because Superman is with you.

Folks - when we go through the dark valleys of life - we don't have to pretend fear doesn't exist. But we get to decide who the boss is. We get to say I will not fear because God is WITH ME. His rod and His staff, they comfort me. He's a good Shepherd - He's gonna Shepherd me through this valley. And this is not just the poetic musings of one songwriter. The idea that we don't need to fear because God is with us is a theme that runs all throughout scripture -

Words given to the prophet Isaiah to share with God's people -

Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.Isaiah 41:10

There's a bunch of similar statements in the Old Testament but they also are there in the New Testament. Hebrews 13:6 says,

So we can say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?Hebrews 13:6

If we want to throw out the damaging fear in our lives, we need to keep it in its proper role and remind it of who the boss is.

REMIND FEAR WHO'S THE BOSS

And that is the Good Shepherd, God Himself who goes with us, who walks with us and who strengthens and helps us. I'm not saying you won't feel afraid sometimes. But what I am saying is "God will be with you when you are."

See, the problem with fear arises when fear stops being a signal - and becomes a strategy. When it stops being an instinct and it becomes an institution in your life. Fear is meant to be an occasional visitor for a short period of time. It's not meant to be your roommate. Healthy fear protects you. Unhealthy fear paralyzes you.

And unhealthy fear lies to us too. Unhealthy fear has some of its greatest hits that play over and over in our head. Classics like "You're not capable." "You're not ready." "You're not good enough." "This is never gonna work." "You'll fail." "People will judge you." "You'll be embarrassed."

And so because we hear these lies… because fear fills us with these lies - we become paralYZED and we don't do the things we want to do or need to do or the things that would do us good that God wants us to do.

And here is why fear is so destructive and powerful in some of our lives. Because the signal of fear, gets out of whack, out of control, it spreads and it starts to merge with feelings from the past and the present. Fear combines with our worry. Fear combines with our feelings of inadequacy. Fear combines with the pain that we've felt or the anxiety that we've acquired over the years. Fear co-opts our sadness and hopelessness and turns it into defeatism.

And we don't even realize it's happening. But when fear combines with our feelings, it gets stronger. It stinks MORE. And it gets harder to get rid of. Because now fear is intermingled with our deepest feelings.

But here's an important distinction and we need to realize this. Feelings are real, but they are not always reliable.

You ever have a feeling of worry - you go "I've got a bad feeling about this" - and it turns out to be nothing. Everything is okay at the end of the day? The feeling of worry wasn't accurate - but it was strong - even stronger if it was mixed with fear. But you know what that feeling wasn't? A fact.

Yeah - let's see if we recognize these for a second - "You're not capable." Is that a feeling or a fact? Feeling. "You're not good enough." Feeling or fact? Feeling. "This is never gonna work." Feeling or fact? Feeling.

But if we don't call these lies out for what they are, fear and feelings can combine to tell us a very convincing story. And when fear and feelings disguise themselves as facts - when we mis-identify these things in our mind - they will rob us of our joy by convincing us that bad things are going to happen when we pursue the things that will make us happy and healthy.

Fear and feelings masquerading as facts trap us in bad relationships, bad situations, unhealthy environments. Because fear mixed with feelings tell us "Nothing will ever change." Is that a feeling or a fact? Feeling.

There's an old acronym that I've heard used before and maybe you've heard it too. You know what FEAR stands for? False Evidence Appearing Real.

One of my favorite verses comes from one of my favorite books - and that's Proverbs - a collection of wise sayings. And I want to share with you maybe a deeper perspective on that verse today - maybe get you thinking of it in new dimensions you hadn't explored before - Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.Proverbs 3:5-6

So I think this is helpful in two ways to our conversation today. First, obviously, I think we have the way we focus on seeking God's will for our plans. Fear can cloud our vision, make us unsure of what to do - which path to take or not to take - and that's where we "trust in the Lord with all our heart, Seek His will in all we do" And "He shows us which path to take"

But there's also that "do not depend on your own understanding" part of the verse. Yeah - that applies to running our plans up the flagpole with God and praying and seeing what He has to say… but you know what it also applies to? Our understanding of our selves and our situations. Cause sometimes fear and feelings - they tell us lies that BECOME our understanding. If we're feeling "we're not capable." If we're feeling "we're not good enough." If we're feeling like "I'm a failure." DO NOT DEPEND ON THAT UNDERSTANDING - because that is probably False Evidence Appearing Real. Take those ideas, those understandings, those labels to God - and trust in what HE says about you. Because He is not going to say those things. He's gonna tell you

that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!2 Corinthians 5:17

Is that a feeling or a fact? That's a fact! He's gonna remind you that the plans he has for you

They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.Jeremiah 29:11

And yeah, that's a protracted promise based on the nature of God as demonstrated in Jeremiah 29 even if you are a different audience than the one originally intended. But I am convinced that God plans to give you a future filled with hope. Is that a feeling or a fact? That's a fact. And if you run those negative feelings, that negative self image that keeps you paralyzed and afraid, if you run those by God, I believe He's gonna tell you to correct your understanding because You are God's masterpiece

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.Ephesians 2:10

But we can't do those things if we allow fear to paralyze us. Unhealthy fear will make you waste the best years of your life because you're afraid to try something new that God is calling you to. That's how you know for sure that fear has crossed the line - when fear stops you from doing the good things He planned for us long ago, or when it stops us from doing the very thing we were created to do.

Fear is a powerful feeling. It can be. Cause it not only attaches itself to our feelings, but it also brings along some attachments of its own. Excuses and What-Ifs.

Right - God call us to do something, gives us a mission, gives us good things to do that He planned for us long ago - and what do we give Him? Excuses. And this isn't meant to make you feel guilty or anything. I think we feel just as bad about them. We make up excuses for ourselves to mask our fear. Reasons why we can't do what we need to do. Reasons why we can't do what we ought to do. Reasons why we can't do what we WANT to do even.

Excuses can seem like powerful reasons for us to stay paralyzed. But I want to give you a scriptural example of one of those excuses. And it actually comes from one of the pillars of Judaism and Christianity - guy by the name of Moses. In Exodus 3 God gets Moses' attention in the form of a burning bush and tells Moses that He's going to liberate the Israelites from the land of Egypt and lead them into a promised land. And He wants Moses to go approach Pharaoh with the news and lead the Israelites out of Egypt.

And I mean - this is Moses man - stories about the plagues and crossing the red sea, and the ten commandments, and water from the rock, and all kinds of miracles and stuff - we often think of Moses as a man of great faith - and I think he would become that in these accounts - but you know what he's showing at the beginning? I think you can make the case that Moses has more fear than faith in the beginning. Because naturally, I mean, Pharaoh - most powerful ruler in Egypt - got a lot of soldiers working for him. Liberating the Israelites and leading them? That's a big job. Here's why I think Moses had a healthy dose of fear in the beginning - cause Moses gave God not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4 but 5 excuses as to why he couldn't or shouldn't do what God is asking him to do.

First one is in Exodus 3:11

But Moses protested to God, "Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?Exodus 3:11

That's fear of inadequacy right there. Fear of being unqualified. And you know what God says?

God answered, "I will be with you.Exodus 3:12

Kind of sounds like what we were talking about earlier.

Then Moses says in verse 13 -

But Moses protested, "If I go to the people of Israel and tell them, 'The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,' they will ask me, 'What is His name?' Then what should I tell them?"Exodus 3:13

And maybe here this protest, this thinly veiled excuse to escape is about feeling like he has a lack of authority. Why should the Israelites believe that God sent Moses? And God, just kind of makes this a non-issue in this conversation - He says, "I AM WHO I AM" and then He tells Moses to say that He's the same God Moses' ancestors would've recognized.

You'd think that ought to be sufficient to move ahead. But in Exodus 4:1 Moses' fear is writing his own script. He says -

But Moses protested again, "What if they won't believe me or listen to me? What if they say, 'The Lord never appeared to you'?"Exodus 4:1

Moses' fear and doubt are getting the better of him. And so the Lord shows Moses miracles, he turns staffs into snakes, and back again.

Now you'd think that ought to do it. Burning bush. God talking to Moses. Snakes and Staffs. But Moses still has another excuse based on fear in verse 10 -

"But Moses pleaded with the Lord, "O Lord, I'm not very good with words. I never have been, and I'm not now, EVEN THOUGH you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied and my words get tangled."Exodus 4:10

Moses has a fear about a lack of perceived ability. A lack of experience or skill.

This might be my favorite of God's responses to Moses in this section -

Then the Lord asked Moses, "Who makes a person's mouth? Who decided whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see of do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak and I will instruct you in what to say.Exodus 4:11-12

Direct command from the Lord. Moses has been chosen. He has been sent.

Now go!" But Moses - he's still got one more excuse up his sleeve - not even an excuse really - more like outright refusal. And we don't know if this was just the combination of all of those fears or if Moses had just convinced himself that it wasn't gonna go well, "But Moses again pleaded, "Lord, please! Send anyone else.Exodus 4:13

But God has a plan. And Moses is part of it. God doesn't leave Moses alone, but you know what, He also gives Moses what he needs to feel more confident. I'm sure it didn't completely remove all of Moses' fears - but we read in Exodus 4:14

All right," He said. "What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he speaks well. And look! He is on his way to meet you now. He will be delighted to see you. Talk to him, and put the words in his mouth. I WILL BE WITH BOTH OF YOU as you speak, and I will instruct you both in what to do.Exodus 4:14-15

What does all of this tell us? What does God's responses to our excuses tell us?

GOD KNOWS OUR FEAR, AND HE'S ALREADY ACCOUNTED FOR IT

You need a translator - God will provide. You need a calming influence? God will provide. You need a barf bag cause you feel like you're gonna toss your cookies? God will provide.

Not only are you not alone with your fear, when you're called to do something

GOD WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED TO HELP YOU DO IT

When the apostle Paul writes

For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.Philippians 4:13

- he is pointing us to the fact that God is with us and He will give us the strength or WHATEVER we need to do hard things and even go through hard times. The psalmist writes in Psalm 46:1

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble.Psalm 46:1

God is not distant. He is not theoretical. He is VERY PRESENT. And He will give us the help we need.

Alright. We talked about excuses. We kind of generate those based on our fears and feelings. But fear itself can generate these questions in our mind - these "What ifs" - and what we don't realize is we think we're playing out the scenarios in our head and just covering all of our bases in case something goes wrong. We can tell ourselves that these "what if" war gaming scenarios in our minds are helpful - but you know what they really often are? Speed bumps. Stop signs. Red lights that never turn green in our mind because there will always be another scary "what if scenario." They're a stalling tactic that fear uses to stop you from utilizing the talent and resources God gave you. They're a draining mental exercise that serves no purpose but to keep us from following our mission. For the most part, "what if's" are unreal, unsubstantiated, unkind waking nightmares about yourself that keep us from showing up fully as ourselves, confident in who God made us to be, confident in the Christ has led us to become and confident in the mission that we were given to live out. "What if's slow us down or bring us to a complete halt."

And I think we all know how "what if's" work - Fear loves to flood our minds with these scenarios - "what if something bad happens?" "What if I fail?" "What if I look stupid?" "What if this is painful?" "What if this doesn't work?"

These are the "what if's we most often experience." But you know what we don't often do? We don't often consciously play out positive scenarios. Most of us tend toward the negative in our minds. What if we played a different version of "what if?" What if we asked ourselves questions like -

"What if something remarkable happens?"

"What if I grow?"

"What if I heal?"

"What if this helps me discover strength I didn't know I had?"

"What if God shows up in ways I didn't expect?"

That is a much more faith-filled, God reliant response than the outdated, whispered messages fear is feeding you that's been stored in the archives of your brain. Messages that probably were never true to begin with. They were False Evidence Appearing Real.

Fear will always push action down the road - you'll make changes someday. You'll be healthier someday. You'll chase your dreams someday. You'll pursue the vision God gave you someday in the future.

But Faith says - "Let's go." "Now." "Let's do this thing that God has called us to do."

If you're here today and you're facing fear - really quick I just want to give you a few very effective simple steps to face your fears.

ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEAR

Verbally identify what you're afraid of. Specifically. When you do that, we take the power of fear away because we turn it from some nebulous moving target of a boogeyman - causing us to have Lizard brain reactions of avoidance and paralysis - into something that we can name and logically deal with. Fear grows in the dark. Fear shrinks in the light.S pock brain always better than Lizard brain.

Next

ALLOW THE FEELING

I know. It seems counter-intuitive. But go ahead. Feel the fear. Don't act like it doesn't exist. Don't give it too much play and build it up into this insurmountable monster. Feel it. And maybe tell someone else that you're afraid. Definitely take that fear to God and tell Him how you feel. And after you rest in His presence for a bit -

AFFIRM YOUR ABILITY TO HANDLE THINGS

Not only affirm your ability to handle things -the ability and strength and intelligence and wisdom and resources that God has given you that allow you to handle this thing. Affirm God's presence as well. Remind yourself that He is there. Affirm His help. Point it out when you see it. Look for the resources He's giving you and the Aarons to your Moses that He's providing you with.

Finally

ACT IN COURAGE

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear. You don't have to conquer all your fears at once. You probably won't. But start by taking one small constructive action toward the fear. Toward what you are called for. And when that is done, hang on just a little bit longer and take another step. And keep courageously moving forward. Because when you do that you are showing that

FAITH > FEAR

And just so you know, faith doesn't always have to look polished. Faith doesn't always seem impressive. But faith - faith is powerful. It's life-changing.

Fear limits us. Faith is limitless.

Fear freezes us. Faith frees us.

Fear holds us back. Faith moves us forward.

Fear says "what if we don't know everything?" Faith says "We'll learn what we need to know along the way."

Fear says "dont move. Stay in port. Stick with what you know. Stay safe."

Faith says, in the words of a famous Captain - "Let's see what's out there."

Listen we've been talking about faith over fear. And I can tell you right now that if you really want to bin up fear and throw it in the trash and get rid of it - there's one way to do it - and that's by putting your trust and faith in Jesus Christ. Jesus, God's own Son, was and is the embodiment of perfect love on this earth. Unconditional love. In 1 John 4:18 we read - "perfect love drives out fear." Fear and perfect love cannot co-exist. One eventually takes the other out. And the more you walk with perfect love. The more you follow the examples of perfect love in the teachings of our Savior, Jesus Christ, the quicker you're gonna bag up that fear, tie it off, chuck it in the bin and leave it at the curb. Fear stinks. But contrary to what J. Geils Band would have you believe- Love doesn't. That perfect love that drives out fear also paid the price for our sins, built a bridge for us to re-connect with our Creator, has gone to prepare a place for us up in Heaven when we leave this world and wants to drive out fear so we can have abundant life- life with true meaning and purpose. You will have no need to fear because God is with you.

Thank you for letting me share with you today. I hope that you've found this series helpful and interesting and mostly, I hope that it's helped you take out some of the trash that weighs us down in our lives. Until next time, may the Lord who is Perfect Love go with you driving out every fear that grips your heart. May courage rise where anxiety once lived. And may you go now ruled not by fear but fueled by faith. God bless you, have a great week!