Week 3: The Stench of Shame

We've been talking about getting rid of the trash in our lives. But I've got a theory. Everybody's got this one bag of trash. It's not the usual stuff. It's not banana peels and last week's leftovers. But I think everybody's got at least one bag of trash. The one you double or triple bag. In the big extra strength Hefty bag. Cause you don't want anyone to see it. In fact, it's a bag you may not even feel comfortable leaving out on the curb to be taken away - because 'what if someone sees me carrying this?' What if, when I drag it out to the curb - it rips open and that trash goes spilling out everywhere fore the whole neighborhood to see? What if, when the trash truck comes to carry it away - it drops the bag, or some of it shakes loose and then that terrible garbage gets carried by a gust of wind and it's all over the street - and now everybody knows. Everybody knows about this disgusting trash in my life.

And so maybe we just decide, you know what - I'll just tie it up real tight and stash it somewhere. Maybe in the backyard. Maybe in the basement. Maybe in the garage. Maybe one day, I'll feel comfortable taking this out to the curb. But for right now, it's just gonna stay with me. And after awhile - that bag starts to stink. And we may have gone nose-blind to it a long time ago because we've been used to sitting with it. Living with it. That bag taking up a place in our space. And maybe we don't even realize that that bag - it's not neutral. It's not just sitting there quietly without consequence. It's festering. It's leaking into other parts of our lives. And it's stinking everything up. That's the stench of shame. That's what shame does.

And what that bag of shame looks like for you if you're carrying one around - don't know. But you do. Maybe it's a bag of regrets for things you did or didn't do. Maybe it's the bag of "I can't believe I did that." Maybe it's the bag of "If people only knew…" Whatever it is you're carrying - if you've got a big bag of shame - today is the day to take it out to the curb. And I pray this message helps you do just that.

Shame often gets confused with guilt. But they are two separate things. In our society we often lump them together - but they function very differently. Here's the difference -

Guilt says "I DID something bad."

Shame says "I am bad."

Guilt is about an action. Shame attacks the self.

Now last week we said that guilt, in it's proper usage and context, not false guilt, but earned guilt - can actually be helpful. Healthy guilt can help us realize - "Hey. That's not right. Let's do better." Healthy guilt can lead to repentance and life-changes. Healthy guilt can lead to growth. Healthy guilt can move us forward in our lives and even in our spiritual walks.

Shame, on the other hand, does none of the good that healthy guilt does. Because shame says "You're unworthy. You're a failure. You're not enough." And when you have a low moment or you make bad choices or you do something instead of motivating you or helping you grow, shame pins you down and just says "That is who you are."

Shame defines you by your worst actions. Shame defines you but the things that humiliate you and haunt you. Shame defines you by your checkered past it does not care about your present or your future. And you know what that leads to? Self-hatred. Self-criticism. Wallowing in self-pity. And paralysis. Because you're afraid nothing is going to change. Because why would it. Shame says "This is just who you are."

Guilt points out what you did. Shame lies about who you are. And that is why it is so dangerous and unhealthy. Shame drains our energy, steals our joy and abundant life that Jesus wants us to have and it keeps us stuck where we are.

Now you might say - well, I didn't sign up for shame, but I'm sure experiencing it in my life. Where did it come from? It can come from a bunch of different places. But It most often comes from the past.

We talked about healthy guilt, right? Healthy guilt is supposed to MOTIVATE us to take healthy steps to be better and to FIX THINGS. To MAKE THINGS RIGHT with people. But you know what happens if you ignore that healthy guilt and you do nothing about it? Oh yeah - shame sets in. And then shame brings other friends that we'll wind up talking about later in the series - bitterness, anger, fear… by the way - you ever see someone who has unresolved guilt but their stubborn refusal to admit they were wrong or their fear or refusal to fix things has turned into decades of shame? Ever see an older person who maybe they're estranged from loved ones because they didn't deal with the guilt or pride? I will tell you - if you have met someone who has been saddled with shame for decades - they can be some of the most miserable people you will ever meet. Internally and externally. They hate themselves and therefore they take it out on everyone else. Or they're just absolute hermits. Living in a cave of shame. By the way - if that's you. If you're watching right now and this rings a bell. Let me say this - IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE YOU. SHAME SAYS THAT'S YOU! Shame does not have to define you. God would like to have a word. Jesus would say otherwise! Please stay tuned. I don't care how long you've been sitting in the stench of shame - that can change TODAY.

So shame can come from things we did. People we hurt. Moments that are impossible to take back or undo. But mostly they come from leaving those things unresolved. No apologies. No attempt to make right. No humbling of ourselves. No admittance. No confession. No learning and being better. And sometimes we double-down on mistakes we've made. Oh man is that so ugly. It's become a thing in our culture. It's really reared it's ugly head in the last decade or so - why? Well it's a political tool. So we see it in the propaganda we all take in every day on tv and social media. Eventually that stuff seeps in. It's a dark psychological PR thing - and it's made it's way to the masses. Now so many more people instead of saying "I made a mistake. They just decide "This is who I am." And they don't even realize all the trash that immediately weighs them down with - and if they don't feel the shame yet - it's coming.

But even if we don't double down on it - sometimes when we do things wrong - instead of guilt motivating us to do better - and I'm also gonna say - instead of the Holy Spirit acting as our conscience and guide to do better - sometimes there are other voices and other narratives that resonate loudly within our heads and hearts that maybe we shouldn't give so much play to.

You ready for this one? Sometimes being a Christian - can make the shame worse. Yeah. Let me explain. Actually let me rephrase that - sometimes growing up listening to the wrong religious voices and mouthpieces can make shame worse.

Anybody in here ever feel that they're not a 'good enough' Christian? You pray - but not enough. Never enough. You read the scriptures - but you're not like them. Not as good as them. You struggle daily - but everyone seems so pious on Instagram.

Sidebar - we like to play this game - we need to be like the disciples. We need to strive and aim higher. We can never be as good as we're supposed to be. Quick question for you - little poll here - you ever deny Jesus three times on the same day? Publicly? You every have Jesus rebuke you for being a dangerous trap to Him because of something you said? If Peter was a good enough Christian… and Jesus built His church upon Peter… despite things like this not just happening but being significant enough to have been written down and recorded and passed down for thousands of years… do you think Peter was a good enough Christian? So why wouldn't you be? Even the whole idea of "Good enough Christian" instead of "Only a sinner saved by grace." - whole generations of people have lost the plot… because of things that influential people have said or written.

Sometimes shame doesn't start with us. It comes from parents, relatives, social circles, faith leaders, influencers, and voices that have large platforms but no pastoral training or care, no degree in psychology or therapy, no shepherding heart - just a platform and a machine that makes them money that they've gotta keep going. I can't say this enough - be careful about who gets a microphone into your ears and especially your heart and soul. Some people don't really lift you up, they weigh you down, saddle you with shame and just make you feel crappy about yourself. That's not what God wants you to experience. That's not the abundant life that Christ came to give.

We were talking about Peter - he's the perfect jumping off point to talk about shame in scripture. Let's take a look at a couple of examples starting with him. So we'll look at the account in Matthew 26 starting in verse 31. So Jesus and His disciples have just finished the last supper. The hour of His sacrifice is coming up soon. And they're walking out to the Mount of Olives to pray. And it says,

On the way, Jesus told them, "Tonight, all of you will desert me. For the Scriptures say, 'God will strike the Shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.'" Which was a reference to a prophecy from Zechariah 13. "But after I have been raised from the dead, I will go ahead of you to Galilee and meet you there." Peter declared, "Even if everyone else deserts you, I will never desert you." Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, Peter - this very night before the rooster crows, you will deny three times that you even know me." "No!" Peter insisted. "Even if I have to die with you, I will never deny you!" And all the other disciples vowed the same.Matthew 26:31-35

You catch that last part? ALL THE OTHER DISCIPLES VOWED THE SAME. How many of you forgot that? How many of you never realized that or missed that? Because were so focused on Peter's denial. The rest of them did it too! But in scripture, and when we're exploring and teaching and talking about scripture, we zero in on Peter. Why? Well - he was the leader, de facto. The rock on which Jesus would build his church. He was the most insistent - that he wouldn't leave Jesus. That he would be willing to die with him. Jesus said all the disciples were gonna desert him. They all made the same vow. But flash forward to later in the chapter- Jesus is being spit upon and beaten in the Praetorium by Roman soldiers. And we're told that Peter was close and keeping an eye on things -

Meanwhile, Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. A servant girl came over and said to him, "You were one of those with Jesus the Galilean." But Peter denied it in front of everyone. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said. Later, out but the gate, another servant girl noticed him and said to those standing around, "This man was with Jesus of Nazareth." Again Peter denied it, this time with an oath. "I don't even know the man," he said.Matthew 26:69-72

That's like saying "I swear to God, I don't know him." Just for explanation's sake.

A little later some of the other bystanders came over to Peter and said, "You must be one of them; we can tell by your Galilean accent." Peter swore, "A curse on me if I'm lying- I don't know the man!" And immediately the rooster crowed. Suddenly, Jesus' words flashed through Peter's mind: "Before the rooster crows, you will deny three times that you even know me." And he went away, weeping bitterly.Matthew 26:73-75

Weeping bitterly. You want one that makes it worse - Luke 22:60-61 adds more detail to this account - Peter just gets done saying,

Man I don't know what you are talking about." And immediately, while he was speaking, the rooster crowed. At that moment the Lord turned and looked at Peter.Luke 22:60-61

Makes it even worse, doesn't it. Peter denied Jesus. Publicly. Repeatedly. With Jesus watching. After he said he wouldn't. After he said he would die with Jesus and not abandon him.

So he goes away weeping bitterly. That's more than guilt. That's bitter shame. And it's shame that Peter is holding onto. We see clues in scripture - that this bitter shame was affecting Peter's trajectory. Now even after the resurrection - Jesus had appeared miraculously to the disciples and fellow believers a couple of times for short periods of time. Peter has witnessed this. And you'd think - well this is gonna set Peter and the other disciples off to tell others about the resurrection - to preach boldly about new life and eternal life. Well… not quite. Not yet, anyway. John 21 - the last chapter of John - it's actually listed as an epilogue. So that means the main purpose of the book which John 20:30-31 describes as The disciples saw Jesus do many other miraculous signs in addition to the ones recorded in this book. But these are written so that you may continue to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing in Him you will have life by the power of His name." John 20:30-31 - okay that's the purpose of the book. It has been accomplished. Done. Story has been told. Necessary information has been shared. Finished. BUT - there's an epilogue. And in this epilogue, seven disciples are on the shores of the sea of Galilee. Peter is there. And in verse 3 -

Simon Peter said, "I'm going fishing." "We'll come, too," they all said.John 21:3

- Now, I need to play fair and say to you that what I'm about to share is speculation. I think it wholeheartedly makes sense. It is speculation that scholars of scripture have postulated for years. But at the end of the day, scripture doesn't connect all the dots for us - so sometimes that leaves us to make the connections. Okay - the last time we talked about Peter prior to him seeing the empty tomb - was when he denied Jesus. We left him weeping bitterly in shame. And now he along with several other disciples are back at the sea of Galilee. They may have been waiting for Jesus since Jesus did say he would meet the disciples in Galilee after the resurrection. Maybe that's why they were there. But Galilee is also where Jesus found some of these guys to begin with. Peter and Andrew had a family fishing business at the Sea of Galilee. It's where Jesus had originally told them "follow me and I will make you fishers of men." And now - this is where they are again. And some people read Peter's "I'm going fishing" as "I'm going BACK to fishing." And that's a possible read. You can interpret the Greek as "I retire to fish." Or "I go away to fish." And this is where the speculation comes in. Was Peter still feeling the weigh of that shame he was carrying around with him? Probably. Did he feel unworthy of being associated with Christ? Probably. Did he just feel like - I'm glad Jesus is resurrected, but now that I denied Him, I probably don't have much of a job to do for Him. He probably doesn't want to be associated with me anymore. I guess that's who I've always been, guy with a big mouth who didn't back it up. A failure in the moment when it counted. It's likely that Peter doesn't just regret his action and feel guilty. It's likely that the shame he is carrying is making him question himself and life as he knows it and his place in it.

And so feeling all this shame - what does Peter wind up doing - instead of looking ahead to the greater things that Jesus had called them to on this very shore - Peter went BACK to his old job, to his old way of life. He fell back into what he knew. Maybe he just didn't know what to do with himself. You know, shame can leave us with a lack of direction in our own lives. So we just keep going back to what we know whether or not it's healthy. Whether or not there's something better out there that God is calling us to.

But here's why I love this. That epilogue is there for a reason. And the underlying message of that epilogue is that Jesus doesn't leave us stuck in the stench of shame. He doesn't want us carrying that burden around. He wants us to experience abundant life and He has plans for us - to give us hope and a future.

So I'm gonna condense John 21 a little bit for the sake of time. Peter goes out fishing, the other disciples follow him - they don't catch anything all night. Jesus is standing on the beach - but they don't recognize him yet. He tells the disciples to throw the nets onto the other side to catch fish. This mimics a miracle the fisherman experienced when they first met Jesus. It's a reminder of the good they experienced when they met Jesus and walked with Him and when He called them. So the disciples do as Jesus says, they catch a humongous haul of fish - the nets are close to breaking. Peter recognizes that this has gotta be Jesus - and he's excited so he jumps out to meet him. Swims ahead of the rest of the group. The rest of the group pull the fish and the nets and the boats to shore. Jesus is making breakfast for the his disciples and when breakfast is finished - it says,

After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," Peter replied, "you know I love you." "Then feed my lambs," Jesus told him. Jesus repeated the question: "Simon son of John, do you love me?" "Yes Lord," Peter said, "you know I love you." "Then take care of my sheep," Jesus said. A third time He asked Him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, "Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you." Jesus said, "Then feed my sheep.John 21:15-17

You know that Peter is carrying that shame around with him. He's being crushed under that weight. And it's not Peter that brings it up. We usually don't when it comes to talking about things we're ashamed about or if we're ashamed of our life and situation. We just quietly let it eat away at us from the inside until it destroys our lives. But Jesus - isn't letting that happen. He brings it up. Hey Peter - I know this is bothering you - that whole denying me three times thing - so I'm gonna address this in a way that might make you uncomfortable at first, cause confronting our shame often is uncomfortable - but in a way that's gonna restore you too.

See - Peter can't go back in time and fix the past. He can't un-deny Jesus in the past. He can't take back what he said. And punishing himself in the present won't change anything. There's no amount that Peter can suffer or self-flagellate to make the shame go away. Punishing yourself in the present for the past doesn't make the pain of the past go away. It just makes things harder on yourself now.

Nope. Jesus restores Peter by having Him focus on the present and the future. He asks "Do you love me." And of course Peter replies yes. Cause he does. And then Jesus tells Peter to "feed his sheep" "take care of his lambs." "Meet the needs of God's creation." "Share the good news with others who are feeling the weight of sin and shame and let them know there is hope. There is abundant and eternal life through Jesus." And in doing that - Jesus restores Peter by restoring his identity. Peter probably already knew Jesus forgave him. Right? Jesus was talking to Peter when he famously told him to forgive those who sinned against him not seven times but seventy times seven Matthew 18:21-22 But Jesus doesn't just forgive Peter. He changes his identity. Peter is no longer "the one who denied Jesus three times." He's "the one who loves Jesus." Peter is no longer "the one who failed." He's "the one who feeds Jesus' sheep."

And this is something that Jesus does throughout His ministry by the way. We talked about Zacchaeus last week - there's a reason why Jesus calls Zacchaeus

a true son of Abraham.Luke 19:9

after Zacchaeus says he'll pay back anyone he's cheated four times as much and give half of his wealth to the poor. - because the people that hated Zacchaeus had probably said "he was NOT a son of Abraham" anymore. He had been disowned. He had lost his cultural identity because he was collecting taxes for the Romans. His fellow Jews were probably calling him "a traitor to his people." Add to that the shame that Zacchaues was probably carrying with him every day for lining his own pockets on top of what he was supposed to collect - Zacchaues carried around a shameful identity. "I'm a cheat." "I'm a traitor." "I'm no longer a Son of Abraham." And Jesus restores Zacchaeus' identity - "You ARE a TRUE son of Abraham." You're not a cheat. "You're the guy whose home salvation came to." "You're the guy who changed after you met Jesus."

And see this is the big takeaway here… when you follow Jesus - when you let Him into your life… when you sit down and lay everything out on the table in front of Him or He sits you down and lays everything on the table out in front of you - in a loving way… He's not a bully - here's what happens. Jesus doesn't just forgive sin. Jesus doesn't just remove guilt. He restores your identity. And when that happens - He removes your shame.

When you are a follower of Christ - your identity is not "ashamed." Your identity is a new creation in Christ. A child of the King.

Listen - Paul was responsible for murders. He held the coats while Stephen was stoned. And he wasn't just a party to murder, he was actively pursuing the murder of God's saints - believers in Christ. Scripture says

Saul was uttering threats with every breath and eager to kill the Lord's followers.Acts 9:1

There's more if you want to keep reading in that chapter. Again - Paul was actively murdering and involved in pursuing the murder of followers of Christ. You think He wasn't ashamed? You think He wasn't carrying that shame around? As far as thorns in the side go - shame is a prickly blade. And YET… Saul had a new identity. He was changed on the road to Damascus. He would continue to be changed and grow. People would look at him suspiciously. By the way - the apostles didn't trust him when he first showed up. And they still maintained reservations about him after that. Which is understandable. But Paul was changed… Paul would not have been able to do what he did under the weight of the shame he was carrying around Him. But God removed that. Paul knew he wasn't perfect. Paul knew he had a past. But He said that God told him

My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.2 Corinthians 12:9

And I want to give you some practical, scripturally based advice - some help if you're struggling under the weight of shame. If it's pinning you down so you can throw it in the garbage today. Here's step 1 -

STOP LIVING IN THE PAST

Do what you can to make amends. Make apologies. Make it up if you can. But if people want to label you - if YOU want to label yourself - and again, I'll use Paul as an example. "Oh there goes Saul the murderer." Okay - Paul could own that. He could say "Yes that is what I WAS. But that is no longer who I AM. That was the past. Let me tell you who I am in the present. I am A CHILD OF THE KING. I am a MiSSIONARY FOR CHRIST. I am the chief of sinners yet I am someone who JESUS HAS SET FREE.

You don't have to deny your past. In fact, I don't think you should. There's power in owning it. Because it shows the transformative power of God's grace in your life. The transformative power of the Holy Spirit working on your heart. There's a reason why Paul writes in Philippians 3:12-14

I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus is calling us.Philippians 3:12-14

RELEASE THE PAST, LOOK FORWARD TO THE FUTURE

And keep moving toward it.

Alright here's the second thing -

DEVELOP REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

Some of us do this thing in our lives - okay - some of us "all or nothing" people out there. You know who you are. We may get really hyped up and ramped up - and excited for the changes that God wants to make in our lives or that we want to make - and then we set these impossible expectations or ridiculous timetables on ourselves. And what we're doing is we're setting ourselves up to fail. Okay - let me put this in a non-super-spiritual arena so we can better relate to it.

New Year's comes. We decide we gotta get in shape. So we say, "I'm gonna lose 200 lbs in a year and get ripped like Hugh Jackman by Christmas."

Okay. That doesn't seem realistic. What's your plan here? You gonna take The Substance?

Yeah. So you set these unrealistic goals and timetables and then when you fall short of them, you know what happens - you know what you let back into your life? Shame. Cause you messed up again. You said you were gonna do something, and you didn't follow through or it fell through. Like what we talked about with Peter.

You can do this with spiritual stuff too. "I'm gonna read the whole Bible in a week, pray three hours a day and never struggle with sin and shame again." Okay. The disciples didn't even do that. What are you doing? First - don't read the Bible in a week. If you actually didn't just read it like a novel - but gave it the time it deserved, you're in there for YEARS to get an accurate understanding and a proper and fair read. You can really mess yourself up if you're reading without historic and cultural context. You can wind up worse than before. Now I'm not discouraging you from reading scripture - I'm just saying - put your time into something that's straightforward and easier to grasp - like Jesus' teachings in the Gospels. It's what matters most anyways. That alone will give you enough to work on for the rest of your life and then some.

Look- healthy expectations - even spiritually speaking - they're achievable. They're not unrealistic. They're not crushing. They set you up for success. Not shame. You don't grow by hating yourself into holiness or burning yourself out into blessings. You grow by letting grace and the Holy Spirit do its work in its own time while you concentrate on loving God and loving people. Don't make it harder than it has to be.

Alright - here's the last tip I want to leave you with today -

ADJUST YOUR ASSUMPTIONS

Another way of putting this - challenge the idea of the shame cycle. I'm gonna break a bitter truth to you right now. I hope you're ready for it. Most of us don't have the impact on others that we think we do. Negatively speaking. I'm not saying you don't make a difference. When you positively impact someone's life - it matters. Okay. And also - when you do something heinous enough to send someone to therapy - and you know what those things are - I don't have to describe them to you - betrayal, infidelity, theft, assault, abuse, messing with someone's livelihood or family. Okay stuff of that magnitude and order - you're not dumb. You probably did have a MAJOR effect on someone. But some of us - we deal with anxiety and we often think back to stupid things we did or said. Ways that we hurt people. And it's not anything that lands us on America's Most Wanted, but it keeps us up at night replaying those incidents and sometimes we assume that we've done more damage than we have. We tend to give ourselves more credit than we deserve.

I have had a few incidents in my day as a youth pastor - where I look back now and I go - man, I didn't get that right. I'd love to have the chance to apologize. I probably sent this kid off into a life of church and God hating. He's probably the president of the atheist society because of something I said to him during one day at summer camp where I was doing what I thought was right, but it wasn't, and if I would've known better then, I would've done better. And I have come up with whole scenarios where something I said or did had some major negative impact on a person. And I have felt not guilt, but shame because of it. You know what's funny - I've had the opportunity to speak with a number of those past youth that were the party that I was ashamed of my behavior toward. And you know what - when I brought up the incidents- some didn't even remember them. I've been torturing myself for years running this scene back in my mind and imagining the terrible butterfly-effect style ramifications this one incident had not just on this one kid but on multiple generations… and they didn't even remember it.

Others - they remembered it - but they lost no sleep over it. There were others who remembered it and said it wasn't great but it wasn't the destructive ticking time bomb that exploded faith and lives that I had made it to be in my mind.

And when confronted with the fact that most of the time it didn't affect those who I had been thinking of the way it affected me - I think my reaction was "Oh."

That's not an excuse to ignore damage or behavior. That's not an excuse to say that anytime you mess up it's no big deal to somebody else. No. Learn. Make amends. Apologize. Try to make it up to people. Be better now.

But here was the positive. To those youth who are now grown up who I was fortunate enough to speak with and apologize to - you know what they said - that they remembered the good times way more than the bad. That they focused on the positives - how they were helped or loved or accepted or encouraged. We tend to remember the negative and let it shame us. But a lot of time we overestimate the damage from the bad stuff and underestimate the positive impact from the good that we do that we tend to forget about.

You can be realistic about what you've done. But let the negative stuff in the past dim. And instead shine a light on the good that you did. And if you start thinking about the old stuff and you're getting sucked into the shame spiral of the effects of what you've done, remind yourself of progress. Of grace. Of growth. And instead of thinking more about what we've done wrong, start thinking more about what Jesus is doing right in your life.

So today - throw that shame in the garbage. And remember, Jesus is not standing over you with arms crossed like a disapproving authority figure. No. Jesus doesn't have crossed arms. Jesus stretched out his arms in the greatest act of love this world has ever seen, He paid the price for our sins - past, present and future, taking them upon Himself. And then He resurrected showing He had power over death and hell, and backing up His claim that He would go prepare a place for us when we leave this world and that He'd come again and get us that where He is, there we may be also - I want you to know - His love didn't end there. He wants us to have abundant life - life with true meaning and purpose and joy in His presence. Those arms that were outstretched are now ready to wrap around you and embrace you as a child of the King.

Until next time - may you leave here lighter and freer than you were before you walked in. And may you remember - you are not your worst moment. You are not your shame. You are a child of the King who is deeply, unconditionally, stubbornly loved by Jesus. And I love you too. God bless you! Have a great week!