Mother’s Day

So - what are you ladies getting for Mother's Day? Go ahead, shout it out. Anybody get a home made craft? Maybe a nice phone call if your kids are grown? How about brunch? Maybe mimosas after church? I'll keep this short for you guys. Now, who's getting the day off? That's always a popular one! A break from chores, no kid duties, no meals to cook, no big looming projects to tackle… As you can see - I DIDN'T get that this year. I - I got a sermon assignment and homework. But all jokes aside, I'm very happy to be here. (And I actually volunteered to do this.)

If you're new here, I'm Erin. Josh, the lead pastor, is my husband. We've been together going on 22 years now, married for almost 12. We have a 6 year old little girl named Tara who you'll probably see running around at some point. She's the unofficial church mascot and loves it here. So that does officially make me a mom, which I guess qualifies me to speak today.

I will be the first to acknowledge that Mother's Day can be complicated. Everyone in this room has a mom, had a mom, is a mom, or was a mom. And whether or not today is a day that brings you joy, a day of bittersweet memories, or perhaps unpleasant ones, or a day that slaps you in the face as a reminder of loss, or unfulfilled dreams, your reaction to this day is valid. I was fortunate to have a great relationship with my mom growing up. Still do! That's her, her name is Candy. She provided me with a fantastic childhood and continues to be a cheerleader and incredible support in my adult life. And I am lucky to also have a great relationship with my mother-in-law too. Hi Sue! And - Tara will attest that are both fantastic grandmas. I also always wanted to be mom. But that didn't happen for me right away. I had Tara at 39 years old. Not exactly a spring chicken. And my OB office liked to remind me of it every visit. Did you know women who are pregnant over 35 are handed the label of "geriatric pregnancy?" GERIATRIC. I thought I was having a baby, not signing up for Life Alert and checking out nursing homes.

But yeah, it was a while before I became a mother. But before I had Tara, I was surrounded by kids and youth. I was a Girl Scout leader of middle and high school girls for around 15 years. I was a youth group leader just as long. I've known literally hundreds of teens over the years and was fortunate to become quite close to many of them. A few actually called me mom and some still do, you know who you are. I was labeled a "spiritual" mom, which I was honored by. But mother's day still stung for the many years I wanted a child but didn't have one. There were a few years I skipped church - even though I literally lived across the street at the time - because I just didn't want the reminder. So - if that's you, I just want you to know that I see you. I feel you. You are not alone.

It would have been remiss of me not to acknowledge the various feelings surrounding this holiday. But It's my hope and prayer, whatever your experience, that you're able to find God's comfort and love.

When I sat down to write, it was under pretty interesting circumstances. Josh was home sick with pneumonia. I had been up all night working on a project - arranging a year's worth of photos for Tara's school yearbook, using an exceedingly slow website to do so. When I woke up, I was hit with a migraine, first one in years, a nice reminder that I can no longer pull an all nighter without consequences. (So maybe that geriatric label wasn't wrong after all…) My daughter spent the day in front of the TV and with coloring sheets. She ate some cereal and toast, PB&J, and canned chicken soup. I think maybe - hopefully? - a few strawberries too? We missed a birthday party because neither one of us was well enough to take her. Wasn't exactly a winning day. And I got to thinking about how often motherhood looks like this - not exactly like this - but how often it's not Pinterest perfect. The days we aren't doing the instagram crafts. We aren't cooking from scratch with our children, or collecting dandelions in an effort to spend "1000 Hours Outside." Sometimes our best is "well, she got fed today. Even if she made her own toast." I'm certain this must be a pretty common experience - despite what social media shows us. And I bet it has been for ages.

So, I got to thinking, who created Mother's Day? When did this become a thing - an actual holiday? Who recognized that even when we aren't AT our best, we are still TRYING our best? Who decided to set aside a day on the calendar to celebrate moms? My cynical side wondered if it was a marketing ploy, a la Hallmark or Macy's back in the day. And my even more cynical side thought "I'm sure it wasn't a man - unless it really was for profit."

Well, I was partly right. Mother's Day was started by - drum roll please - A MOM! Of course it would be a fellow mom that would say "hey! We deserve some recognition here!" So here's a little history lesson for you. I happen to be bit of a History Buff and am definitely a genealogy enthusiast. Josh says it's called being a nerd, but I'll wear that badge with honor. Give me an episode of Expedition Unknown or a History Channel special and I'm a happy camper.

Alright, so Mother's Day was officially started by Anna Reeves Jarvis over a hundred years ago back in 1905. After her Mother Ann passed away on May 9, she set out to create a day that would honor her and other moms collectively. She began this movement in West Virginia. Three years later, the very first Mother's Day celebration was held at Andrew's Methodist Episcopal Church near her home town. In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson signed a bill recognizing Jarvis' idea for a national holiday to be celebrated each second Sunday in May. And I would say "the rest is history," expect there's actually more history behind it.

Jarvis wasn't the first with the idea of a Mother's Day. National Geographic tells us that the poet and author Julia Ward Howe had aimed to promote a Mother's Peace Day decades before. (Fun fact - I have an ancestor named Howe. And I was really hoping Julia would be related to her, but it wasn't the case. Darn.) Okay, back to Julia. She lived through the Civil War. I can only imagine what motherhood looked like for her back in the 1860's. Because of her experiences, she aimed to spread unity across the globe in the wake of so much trauma following the Civil War in American and the Franco-Prussian War in Europe.

Julia called for women to gather once a year in parlors, churches, or social halls, to listen to sermons, present essays, sing hymns, or pray if they wished - all in the name of promoting peace. This was indeed carried out for a while until Anna Jarvis' idea took hold. So what today is a day filled with sweet cards, flowers, and brunches - which is indeed lovely - originally started out with a much deeper vision.

Julia Howe was no stranger to using her voice to promote justice. She was the author of one of the most recognizable anthems of American history: The Battle Hymn of the Republic. Most of us know the first few lines, "Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord…" and of course the famous chorus "Glory, glory, hallelujah…" The entire song is filled with dramatic imagery, much of it lifted from the Bible, penned to inspire Union troops as they engaged in battle. But it wasn't just a rallying song. She took dead aim at slavery in her lyrics, the last verse includes the line "as He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free." That's not exactly mincing words. Here's another fun fact - she penned the lyrics all at once, early one morning, at the encouragement of a preacher friend. She knew she had written something important. So much so that she took it to a popular magazine, The Atlantic Monthly. They paid her a whopping $5 for it. That's the equivalent of $163 dollars and 47 cents today. (Man I was hoping for more when I looked up the conversion rate.)

At this point you may be saying: "Alright Erin - thanks for the history lesson, but what does it that have to do with us today?"

In the words of one of my favorite content creators, Elyse Meyers, "That's a great question, I would love to tell you."

So Julia Howe pens this incredibly poignant song. A song that has left it's mark on history. And it's a literal battle anthem. It's a song about history bending towards justice. A song proclaiming that evil does not get the last word. And here is what is remarkable: the same woman who wrote a song to inspire troops into battle, later became a voice for peace. Because she understood something profound. Sometimes standing for what is good and right looks bold and public, and sometimes it looks like healing after the battle. Sometimes it is protest. And sometimes it is reconciliation. Sometime it is marching. And sometimes it is mothering. But all of it matters.

Julia believed women could be a moral force in society - not simply by existing privately, but by coming together publicly. By gathering, by organizing, by refusing isolation. By saying "we will not stand idly by while the world harms what is precious." She didn't seek to just celebrate mothers, but mobilize the hearts of mothers towards healing. And we've seen this play out time and time again.

Consider MADD - Mother's Against Drunk Driving. In September of 1980, 13 year old Cari Lightner was walking to a church carnival in northern California. She was struck and killed by a drunk driver who was out of jail on bail for a hit-and-run just two days prior. Driven by grief and anger over the lenient sentence for the driver who had a total of 4 prior arrests, Candace Lightner, her mom, formed MADD to raise public awareness, aid victims, and demand stricter penalties for drunk driving. She turned heartbreak into advocacy. And collectively, her group took private pain and birthed public change. Because mothers came together, new laws were written. Did you know that MADD's advocacy led to the federal government passing the law which made the national legal drinking age 21? And not only did laws change, but awareness changed, culture changed, and lives have been saved.

Here's another one for you. I just learned about this, so maybe it's new to you as well. In Argentina in the late 70's a group formed called Madres de Plaza de Mayo. It started with 14 women who's young adult children were forcibly disappeared by the dictator-run government, without trials, or judicial process. They started gathering every week at the presidential palace in Bueons Aires. When police forbade them from standing still because the law prohibited gatherings of more than 3 people, they linked arms and walked in circles around the Pyramide de Mayo just across the street from the palace. Their movement grew and they wore white scarves on their heads, embroidered with their children's names, which became a symbol of truth and justice. Soon, their movement spread around the world, and even the World Cup soccer match saw throngs of protestors, covered by international news media. When democracy returned to their nation in 1983, the group continued demanding prosecution of the perpetrators and truth about the victims. Even today, you can find women at the Plaza de Mayo every Thursday, upholding the memory of those lost, and standing for truth and justice.

These are two, massive, mother-led movements which created real change in the world, but we see this locally too, just on a smaller scale- community kitchens, foster care networks, PTA meetings, even church meal trains - these are almost always spearheaded by women. Their names may not be remembered in the history books the way Julia Howe's has been, or the founders of MADD or the Madres de Plaza de Mayo, but their work has changed lives all the same. This is how transformation often happens. Not always in grand gestures, but in small, faithful acts done collectively.

The bible has a word for these people. Peacemakers. We see it in the sermon on the mount in Matthew 5, verse 9.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.Matthew 5:9 (NIV)

And we see it again in James, chapter 3, verse 18.

peacemakers' who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.James 3:18 (NIV)

Notice that the word used here is peace MAKERS. Not peace-keepers. Not peace-wishers. Peace MAKERS. Peacemaking is active. It is courageous. And it's sometimes inconvenient.

A meal delivered.
A phone call made.
A handwritten card.
A child mentored.
A neighbor checked on.
A meeting attended.
A letter penned.
An outdated policy challenged.
A vote cast.
A truth spoken.

Sometimes, it's easy to think that our lives are inconsequential. Especially when you are in the throes of motherhood. Diaper changes and homework help and carpooling to soccer don't exactly seem world changing. But amidst all of what we see as mundane, we can indeed be a force for good. We do not have to do enormous things to change the world. Scripture is full of reminders that God loves small beginnings: A mustard seed. A little yeast. Five loaves and two fishes. A baby in a manger. So let's not underestimate what God can do through a connected community of women.

In fact, in this room right now, I see:

Women who raise children with compassion in a culture that rewards cruelty
Women who practice hospitality in an age of loneliness and isolation.
Women who support mothers who are drowning.
Women who hold the hand of someone grieving.
Women who mentor a younger woman.
Women who volunteer.
Women who advocate.
Women who encourage.
Women who pray.

Indeed, blessed are the peacemakers.

Jesus also said

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.Matthew 5:7

How much mercy has flowed through the hands of women? Mercy in late-night conversations that always happen when bedtime was 15 minutes ago. Mercy in listening without fixing. Mercy in second, and third, chances. Mercy in showing up again and again and again, even when we are tired.

And let's not forget "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." There is a hunger amongst women and mothers today for a better world: for safer homes, kinder communities, stronger families, deeper belonging. And that hunger is not weakness, according to the bible it's sacred and will be rewarded.

So today, I want to encourage the women and mothers here: You were never meant to carry life alone. From the very beginning, women have survived, healed, rallied, and cried out for peace in circles. Elizabeth needed her cousin, Mary. Ruth needed Naomi. Mary Magdalene stood with other women at the tomb. If you haven't found your circle, look around. This room and this church are a great place to start. We have life groups and support groups and casual dinners happening all the time. And we are friendly.

Let this be a little nudge to shift your Mother's Day celebration this year. Not literally today, because you have school-made gifts to open and avocado toast and shrimp cocktail to nosh on. But soon. Let's not just give flowers, let's plant seeds. Let's re-imbrace Julia Ward Howe's original vision of Mother's Peace Day- a community of women coming together to learn from one another, encourage one another, and just sit with one another. Because we are strongest when we gather not to compete or compare, but to strengthen one another.

Let's pray together, laugh together, grieve together, and strategize together. And lets remind each other "you are not walking this road alone." Because whether or not you are in a beautiful season of motherhood, or are still longing for it, if you're reminiscing about your childhood or grieving it, if you're celebrating with your children or mourning a loss, or if you are mothering by means of mentoring, caregiving, fostering, ministry or simply friendship, you are valuable and your story matters. This day can hold joy and ache all at once, and God is present in all of it.

And to the men here today, keep supporting the women in your lives, no matter what season they are in. If she is up all night breastfeeding a newborn, support her. If she is mothering young children and chasing after toddler tornados, help her. If she is rebuilding after loss, comfort her, if she is discovering a new calling or chasing after new dreams, cheerlead her. If God has placed something meaningful on her heart, help her create space for it to flourish. Encourage her friendships, honor her labor, share the load. Sometimes, the most spiritual (and most sexy) thing a man can do is simply ask: "how can I help carry this with you."

I'd like to close with a spin on the beatitudes, as a blessing, and reminder, for the women in the room:

Blessed are you when you choose peace in a loud world.
Blessed are you when you offer mercy in a harsh world.
Blessed are you when you hunger for goodness in a cynical world.
Blessed are you when you come together instead of isolating.

This Mother's Day, may we honor women not only with celebrating but with commitment. And may we commit to what these first celebrations set out to create: women gathered in love, committed to peace, refusing to despair, and, as the Girl Scout in me says - making the world a better place. And may it be said of us: blessed are the peacemakers.

May the God who gathers the lonely into community surrounding you with people who will strengthen, encourage, and walk beside you. And may you have courage to do small things with great love, wisdom to stand for what is good and right, and grace to be a peacemaker in a hurting world. Go have a great Mother's Day!