Who's Your Daddy?
Alright, where are my nerds at? And I say that as a fellow nerd, with the utmost reverence and respect. You're not just a casual enjoyer, you have moved into rabid fandom at some point with something like let's say Star Wars - any Jedi masters with us today? Any members of the Fandom Menace with us? Star Trek fans? Where are my Trekkies at? And by the way, I know, we prefer to be called "Trekkers." I'm taking it back. See I can call myself a Trekkie… but… never mind. Live long and prosper fellow Federation members. Any comic book fans in the house? Where's my Marvel people at? Excelsior! Where's my DC people at? Wonder nerd powers, activate! I can say that because we're SuperFriends. Any other comics fans here that like one of the non-major labels? Image? Top Cow? Dark Horse? Archie Comics? Betty or Veronica? See - I knew you were in here. How about general fans of all things horror and sci-fi? Anybody remember Uncle Forry? His publication was the gateway for many a young monster fan back in the day. I could keep going - anime fans? CCG fans? Pokémon? Magic? D&D fans? Anybody like painting miniatures in here?
Well, whatever your specific nerd-out or fandom is - I welcome you today, but you know, you must be tested. You must PROVE your fandom. Don't worry - it's an easy quiz and yes, it does have something to do with the message today. It's time to play everybody's favorite game show - "Who's Your Daddy?!"
Here's how the game works. I'm gonna give you a character and I want you to tell me who their daddy is.
(Click on questions to reveal answers)
Q: Luke Skywalker. Who's his daddy?
A: Darth Vader / Anakin Skywalker
Q: Peter Quill / Starlord. Who's his daddy?
A: Ego.
Q: Count Alucard. Who's his daddy?
A: Count Dracula - from the Universal Horror film "Son of Dracula."
Q: Countess Zaleska. Who's her daddy?
A: Also Count Dracula. Ol' Drac got around. From the Universal Horror film "Dracula's Daughter."
Q: Baron Wolf. Who's his daddy?
A: Wolf von Frankenstein. His daddy was Victor Frankenstein. From the Universal Horror film "Son of Frankenstein."
Q: Gamora. Who's her daddy?
A: Thanos, the mad titan.
And this is an interesting list. Anybody realize what all these fathers had in common? They're all villains. Every single one of these characters - the sons and daughters have to wrestle with not only who they are, but they must struggle with the weight of the question - "Who's Your Daddy?" Yeah - bet you never realized that a lot of fandoms are like a giant support group for people with parental issues, did you? Not exclusively - but it's a thing, lemme tell you.
The reason why this is a struggle, is not just because of the reputations of these characters' fathers. They have to live with that. The fear and the anger and the sadness and stress that their fathers produced is part of the legacy that they left to their children. But we also know that we tend to inherit some of the traits and beliefs of our parents. Of our fathers. And so the struggle which is always below the surface for these characters is healthy development in spite of who their fathers are. How much family resemblance will these characters wind up showing?
Alright. I want you to keep these things in the back of your mind while we unpack today's entry into our "Fifty Things" list. It comes from something that Jesus says to Nicodemus in John chapter 3. We'll pick up the interaction in verse 1 of the chapter.
There was a man named Nicodemus, a Jewish religious leader who was a Pharisee. After dark one evening, he came to speak with Jesus. "Rabbi," he said, "we all know that God has sent you to teach us. Your miraculous signs are evidence that God is with you." John 3:1-2
And Jesus doesn't even say 'thank you for the compliment.' 'Thank you for realizing who sent me.' Instead he gets right to the point.
Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God." "What do you mean?" exclaimed Nicodemus. "How can an old man go back into his mother's womb and be born again?" Jesus replied, "I assure you, no one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit. Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life. So don't be surprised when I say, 'You must be born again.' The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can't tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can't explain how people are born of the Spirit." John 3:1-8
So #37 on our list of Fifty Things is:
Be Born Again
You know, it's interesting isn't it - as soon as Jesus says, "You must be born again," Nicodemus, a religious leader and teacher immediately reverts to human understanding and human scenarios - he's thinking of earthly birth. How we come into this world. But Jesus corrects his thinking and says, essentially, "this is about SPIRITUAL RE-birth. How we come into the Kingdom of God."
And if we're truly going to understand what Jesus means and apply it to our lives, we have to ask a question:
If I'm born again… who's my daddy? Who becomes my Father? Because who our Father is gonna have a big effect on our family resemblance and tendencies as we grow. And some of it is hard to avoid. Even if you want to.
Anybody ever have the horrifying realization that you're becoming more and more like your parents as you get older? I say this in jest - I love my parents very much - but I think we all grew up seeing a couple of things our parents did and we said to ourselves, "I'm not doing that when I get older." But something happens. It creeps up on you. One day out of nowhere, you start following people out of rooms, turning off the lights behind them saying things like, "What do I look like, the electric company?" And then you're like "Oh no. What was that? I have solar. It's not that big a deal. What happened there?" Yeah - sends shivers down your spine. I grew up thinking R2-D2 and droids were cool, now I'm yelling at delivery bots I pass on the street.
You've seen those Progressive insurance commercials - "we can't stop you from becoming your parents"? Oh man, there's truth to those commercials. They're funny because they're true. Some of you have had those moments. One day you're out exploring the world and full of hopes and curiosity, the next day, you're making noises getting out of your chair. One day, you're out partying at a rave until dawn. The next day you suddenly have very strong opinions about thermostats and lawn maintenance. And you know it's bad when we start saying things our parents said.
You know why we do these things? You know why we slip into these habits and phrases and philosophies even though when we were younger, we said we weren't going to? Because family shapes us. Especially our parents. They shape our habits. They shape our attitudes. They shape how we handle conflict. They shape how and who we love. Sometimes they shape what we struggle with and how we hurt.
We naturally take after our parents. But it doesn't mean we HAVE to inherit things that are damaging. Case in point - being that this is NERD CHURCH - Luke Skywalker.
Biologically - he is Darth Vader's son. And he did inherit a lot from his father. He's strong in the Force. He's naturally a great pilot. He has a natural aptitude for mechanics - repairs and crafting.
That's what he inherited naturally. But Luke wasn't RAISED by Vader. Can you imagine if he was? Who would Luke be? What would be different about the Star Wars universe? I'll tell you - the rebel alliance would've lasted about six minutes, the Tusken Raider population would've been significantly lower and no one in the galaxy would be allowed to play in a sandbox or build a sand castle. ("I hate sand.")
But Luke wasn't shaped by Vader. He was raised by Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. He was influenced by Obi-Wan Kenobi. He had friends like Biggs Darklighter. Different influences. Different families. Different parental figures. Different outcome.
Same DNA. Different ideals and influences.
Better ideals and influences. A better and deeper purpose. A different example to emulate. And that's exactly what Jesus was getting at in His conversation with Nicodemus. He tells Nicodemus - "You must be born again." Not "You must become more religious." Not "You must join a church." Not "You must vote a certain way." Not "You need to memorize enough Bible verses to win Bible Jeopardy." Jesus said:
You must be born again. John 3:7
Sounds like a weird thing to say, but when you examine it further, it makes so much sense. See, so many of us show up on Jesus' doorstep like Nicodemus, looking for answers, looking for next steps, looking to find purpose and meaning. But we show up on Jesus' doorstep with all kinds of baggage from the human families that we've been a part of. Our own family. Previous church families. Peers and friends groups and jobs and businesses and voices in the media.
So we show up and knock on Jesus' door dragging along with us our fears. Our assumptions. Our prejudices. Our unhealthy coping mechanisms. Our anger. Our insecurities. Our very human, sometimes sinful, often petty desires. And we want Jesus to fix us, but we think along human lines. We think He's gonna do it in human ways. But I think if we were standing in front of Jesus like Nicodemus had the privilege of doing, we would hear Jesus say something like - "You need more than behavior modification. You need more than a self-help plan. You need more than religion. You need to be born again. You need a new birth."
A birth… is truly a beginning. So to be "born again" means to experience a "new beginning." The Greek phrase that we translate in scripture as "born again" can actually also be translated as "born from above." It's an intentional linguistic device. An intentional double-meaning. We're born again - we have a new beginning, a fresh start… a new life that originates from God. "Born from above." And that's the point. We have a new source from which we originate. We have a new Heavenly Father. We have a new family - the family of God. The Kingdom of God. And a new beginning.
The apostle Paul describes the transformation like this:
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:17
Now here's where what I'm going to say next might make some of you a little uncomfortable. Some of you are like, "We started with 'Who's Your Daddy?' How much more uncomfortable can it get?" It's an uncomfortable truth, but I think we need to be aware of it.
You can call yourself "born again" and still look nothing like Jesus. Very little family resemblance. People wouldn't know who your Heavenly Father was by observing your behavior. People wouldn't realize that you were joint heirs with the King.
Like almost anything good and pure, eventually things get co-opted for other purposes. Meanings change. Associations change. And the phrase "born again Christian" - which kind of experienced a resurgence into the mainstream in the mid-seventies, originally meaning exactly what it meant in scripture: a follower of Christ who had experienced a new beginning, a new life in Christ - well, by the time the '80s hit, it got co-opted by the moral majority, political movements, the religious right, televangelists and those who sought to align the term "born again" with a very specific subset of Christianity. And some of us who grew up during that time, we may hear the words "born again" and just have a 'cringe' reaction because of what it reminds us of. Who it reminds us of. So try not to get triggered when you hear the phrase "born again." We're taking it back.
Here's the thing - I think a large part of Christianity just automatically uses "born again" as a synonym for "saved." As in: "I put my trust in Jesus, I believe He paid the price for my sins and one day I will experience eternal life with Him in Heaven." I submit to you that that is a PART of being 'born again.' But being 'saved' and 'being born again' might be two separate things. You may have experienced the ultimate act of grace and love from Jesus because of His goodness. But did you experience a rebirth? "Who's your daddy?"
See, I say that because our inspiration should come from Jesus. Jesus said:
If you've seen me, you've seen the Father. John 14:9
I and the Father are one. John 10:30
So, if we've been born again, by the Spirit, and God is our Heavenly Father - then our actions ought to emulate the life of Christ. Because that's who we should be being discipled by.
But some of us - we went looking for Jesus, and maybe we were 'born again' - but instead of being discipled by Jesus in the image of our Heavenly Father, some of us - we were discipled by Father Fear, and Brother Bitter. Some of us weren't "born again" into Christ. We were "born again" into somebody's church culture. Who discipled you? Who raised you spiritually? Who taught you what following Jesus looked like? Because sometimes, people think they're born again - but they are not "born from above." They are born and shaped by religious culture. They are born and shaped by angry preachers. They are born and shaped by fear and legalism and judgment and politics and traditions. And eventually, they start resembling those influences, instead of Jesus.
Look - if you are 'saved' but you're mean all the time… if you're 'saved' but you're judgmental all the time… you call yourself a Christian but you are bitter all the time, you see people as enemies or rivals instead of neighbors… then might I suggest that you're not acting like you've been born from above. Maybe you need to be "born again."
You know, when we actually read the Gospels and see what Jesus is like. He's eating with sinners. Welcoming outsiders. Touching lepers. Defending women. Blessing children. Forgiving enemies. Showing compassion. Feeding the hungry. Bringing hope to the hopeless. If we're born again… that's what we ought to resemble. We ought to take after our Father. And we may have to work at it - but that should be the shining example that we strive for.
Here's one of the other great things about our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. We may not always get it right. There may be times that we resemble some of the human traits we inherited… but Jesus will never leave us. And we're told:
If we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1 John 1:9
We may have been abandoned by earthly family in the past, but our Heavenly Father will never leave us. No matter how hard it gets. And one of the most beautiful truths contained in scripture tells us that God doesn't just forgive us - He adopts us:
But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name. They are reborn - not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God. John 1:12-13 (NASB)
We are God's adopted children. We are family with Jesus. We have belonging in His Kingdom. We have a HOME in Heaven.
Alright - because it's Nerd Church - I have one more illustration for you that I think fits. How many of you have seen the Guardians of the Galaxy movies? Let's talk about Star-Lord. Peter Quill. He spent years looking for his father. And eventually he finds him. Ego. And it turns out that Ego - well, he's powerful. He's cosmic. He's got resources and means and he's impressive. But also completely toxic and selfish. But through the course of the movie, Quill realizes his real father figure was Yondu. And Yondu gives us one of the greatest lines in movie history as well as basically the thesis for my message today - "He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy."
Who's your daddy? It's Father's Day, and look, as much as Mother's Day can be tough, Father's Day can be too. We all have fathers… not everybody had daddies. Some of us had parents who did amazing. Some didn't. Some were here. Some were absent. Some were loving. Some were abusive. Some had time to give. Some were overwhelmed. All of them were dealing with their own wounds and issues and baggage.
Part of the Good News of the Gospel is that no matter how good or bad or in-between your father was, God becomes the Father you always needed.
See, the first time around, we don't choose our family. We're just born into it and we inherit what we inherit. I got my mom's anxiety and my dad's temper. Didn't ask for either one. I just inherited them. And subconsciously over the years, I picked up habits and ideas and traits from them.
But here's the cool thing. When you're born again - you choose who you're going to imitate. You choose who you're going to emulate. And the Holy Spirit, over time, during a process of sanctification - big word, just means 'becoming more like Jesus' - is gonna make sure you inherit some of His traits. But the second we choose to follow Jesus - we can also choose to reject our human sinful inklings, and instead choose to live like Him. We can choose forgiveness. We can choose grace. We can choose compassion. We can choose mercy. We can choose generosity. We can choose understanding. We can choose love. Folks, if love is not present, it is an indicator that you may need to be "born again." 1 John 4:7-8 tells us:
Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 1 John 4:7-8
Anyone who doesn't love… doesn't know God. But anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. Who knows God? Not the one with the best theology. Not the one with the best arguments or the best debate tactics. Not the one with the biggest Bible or charity tax write-off.
The one who knows God is the one who loves. Because eventually, children resemble their fathers. We just can't help it.
Let me go ahead and give you what follows that verse as we wrap up today:
God showed how much He loved us by sending His one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through Him. This is real love - not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. 1 John 4:9-10
"Who's your daddy?" Look, if you don't have a relationship with the Heavenly Father, if you haven't been "born again." If you've never put your trust and faith in Jesus - then there is no time like the present. Be born again and let Him give you a new beginning that is born from above.
Learn to live and love like Jesus. Not only will He give you the gift of eternal life, He will give you the gift of abundant life - life with true meaning and purpose when we live like Jesus.