My Work is a Hot Mess (Part 2)

If you're just joining us, we started a series called "Hot Mess," where we're looking at areas of life that can easily turn into hot messes - how we navigate them, how Jesus can redeem them, and what He would have us do to make the most of them. And by the way, sometimes the hot mess is us.

Last week, in part one, we said that work is actually a blessing - it's inherently good. But we can easily get the wrong perspective if we focus too much on the process instead of the purpose. We also said that all work is Kingdom work: when we make the purpose behind our role and attitude at work helping people find and follow Jesus, and we let God produce what He wants through us, it gives us patience, grace, and mercy even in the middle of a process that can be a hot mess.

This week I want to flip the camera around. We're so used to blaming the hot messes we find ourselves in on other people - it's a chaotic environment because of someone else's behavior; it's a toxic situation because of what they are doing. We're the least likely to see our own role. But if we don't examine and check our own behavior, we might be one of the major root causes of the very mess we're in. So here are some of the ways we can turn our work into a hot mess.

1. Wrapping our identity up in our work

In Western culture we have a tendency to over-identify with our jobs. Our work becomes our source of pride, sometimes the biggest part of our personality. Our well-being gets wrapped up in the kind of work we do, the position we hold, the prestige of the company we work for.

Here's how intrinsically linked our identity is to our occupation: if I asked you for a game-show introduction, most of you would give your name and then immediately jump to your job. "I'm Josh, I'm a pastor from Redondo Beach…" And what's one of the first questions we ask when we meet someone new? What do you do? We wrap other people's identities up in their occupations too, at least when we're first sizing them up.

So if our identity is that intrinsically linked to our work, what happens when things go sideways? If the company gets bad press, if your last product underperformed, if the stock price tanks - what happens to your self-worth? And how will you act at work when it does? You might get defensive, even aggressive, fighting to right the ship because your identity is on the line. How will you treat the people you disagree with, or the ones you feel aren't pulling their weight? Will you steamroll them, or take time to find out what's really going on in their lives?

And here's a harder question: what if you lose your job? What if you're injured and can no longer do it? If the biggest part of your identity is your profession, then that part of you is suddenly gone - and that can make you a hot mess.

It's great to love your job. A healthy pride in your work is a blessing. But there needs to be a realization: our work is not our worth. Not where we work, not what we do, not how much we produce, not how much we make. None of those things are as stable or permanent as we'd like them to be. None of them are capable of loving you when times get tough. And none of them should define who you are. We are human beings, not human doings - who we are matters more than what we do.

For those who know Christ, there's a far better place to anchor our identity - one that won't fade. Paul, writing to the Philippians about his former life as a respected Pharisee, said it this way:

"…once I thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done… everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." - Philippians 3:7-8

(Fun fact: the word translated "garbage" there is a good deal more impolite in the original.) Paul's identity was wrapped up in being one with Jesus. As he writes in Ephesians 4, don't bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live - remember that He has identified you as His own. Work is a blessing, but it isn't our worth, and it isn't our identity.

So maybe my game-show intro should sound more like this: Hi, I'm Josh. I'm a Christ-follower who does his best to love God and love people. I'm a father, a husband, a son, a grandson. I love my family and my friends. I like pinball and horror movies and urban exploring - and I'm fortunate enough to be the lead pastor of Seacoast Church.

2. Making work all about us

Even if we don't wrap our identity up in our work, we can still create a hot mess by making work all about us. Watch how one little word changes everything. There's nothing wrong with saying, "I'm here because they pay me" - that's a fair consideration of most jobs. But listen to this: "I'm only here because they pay me." That one word turns it into a purely selfish venture.

If that's how you see your job, it will make your work a hot mess before you know it. You'll start to see the people around you as obstacles, annoyances, or tools to use for personal gain. You'll see clients and customers - the people you serve - as a means to an end. And people will eventually notice. You may think you're a great actor, but if you're selfishly motivated, it comes out: in your lack of care, your attention to detail, your demeanor. That friction turns into complaints and dissatisfaction, and a workplace becomes a hot mess fast.

The antidote is at least a two-part process. First, be honest with yourself and recognize whether you're becoming self-interested. Second, if you are, you need a shift in perspective - one that lines up with the example of Jesus and the teaching of His apostles:

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." - Philippians 2:3-4

That's not just advice for church - it extends into every area of life, the workplace included. It's a good check-up: what's motivating my behavior at work? If it's selfish ambition or vain conceit, I'm probably on my way to making a hot mess.

3. Untempered ambition

Ambition is a strange thing - it can be both a sin and a virtue, depending on how it's used and why. If your ambition is to make life better for others or to improve your workplace, ambition can be a good thing. But if it's all about getting rich, getting promoted, and getting attention, that ambition is probably sin.

"No one should seek their own good, but the good of others." - 1 Corinthians 10:24

Now, please don't hear this as some anti-worker message. There's nothing wrong with working hard, hoping to be recognized, and wanting a promotion. Workers deserve fair compensation, earned promotions, and perks, and wanting to provide the best life for your family is just wisdom and expecting to be treated fairly. What I'm talking about is the constant, never-satisfied thought of "I deserve more" - the drive to be promoted even if it means stepping on people on the way up. "I need to make partner by 35; I need to own this place by 40" - why? If the answer is nothing but selfish ambition, that thinking is destructive.

And it sets you up to fall apart at the first roadblock. What happens when you don't get the promotion, or someone else does? Chances are you'll be filled with resentment and dissatisfaction. Where's the line between ambition and greed? I can't give you an exact spot, but I think it has a lot to do with contentment:

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have…" - Hebrews 13:5

4. Not valuing relationships

Both of those - making work all about us and untempered ambition - produce the same byproduct: we stop valuing relationships. And that will make things a hot mess in any arena. We're far more likely to have a productive, pleasant work environment when we see coworkers, bosses, and clients as teammates, friends, and people we care about.

I get it - through no fault of your own, people can be hard to work with. Personalities clash. Some people behave like jerks no matter how kind you are. Maybe you genuinely struggle to see how you can love and care about someone who acts so terribly. Here's the shift: even when you can't see them as people you love, you can see them as people God loves and cares about. All work is Kingdom work, and every day we have a chance to partner with God in helping people find and follow Jesus - which sometimes means acting differently than our nature would like, because we have a higher calling.

"Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone." - Romans 12:17-18

James puts it bluntly: where there's jealousy and selfish ambition, you'll find disorder and evil of every kind (James 3:16). That disorder sounds like another name for a hot mess. But the wisdom from above, he says, is peace-loving and gentle, full of mercy, sincere, and shows no favoritism - and peacemakers plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. The Message paraphrases it beautifully: God's wisdom is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy, "not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced" - and you only develop a healthy community by doing the hard work of getting along with each other and treating one another with dignity and honor.

So when it comes to relationships at work, we need to stop asking, How is this going to affect me? and start asking, How do I have the opportunity to affect others for Christ? How can I best love God and love people in this situation?

The root of it all: believing work is the source of fulfillment

Ultimately, all these things that turn our work into a hot mess grow out of one mistaken belief: that our work is the source of our fulfillment - our enjoyment, our satisfaction, our happiness, our be-all and end-all.

Again, some of you really enjoy your work, and so do I - that's a blessing. But here's the thing: your job can be a source of enjoyment; it is not the source. Even the best jobs swing. Work can feel like fulfillment on Monday and turn into frustration by Tuesday. Maybe 80 percent of what you do is rewarding, but there's a dreaded 20 percent that isn't. Most work is a roller coaster - up for a week, or even years, and then suddenly hurtling down. If you believe your fulfillment is found in work, you're setting yourself up for an inconsistent life and an unstable sense of worth, handing other people and random chaos enormous power over your well-being. When work is your source of fulfillment, the day things go sideways at work, your whole life becomes a hot mess.

So what's the solution? It starts with getting your spiritual life in order and recognizing this: Jesus is the source of fulfillment.

One of my favorite moments in the Gospels is Jesus and the woman at the well. He tells her that anyone who drinks ordinary water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water He gives will never thirst - it becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving eternal life (John 4). Work may satisfy you for a time - or you think it will - but eventually that well runs dry. Then where will you turn? Later in that same story, when the disciples worry about getting Him food, Jesus says:

"My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work." - John 4:34

Every other well will run dry. Things - including our work - may nourish a particular need for a while, but we'll always wind up hungry again, unless we realize that Jesus is the source, partnering with Him in His work. And lest anyone think we're just swapping one kind of work (secular) for another (evangelism), here's the thing: that should all spring forth naturally, as a result of simply being in Christ. That's where our ultimate fulfillment is found - being in His love, in communion with Him through worship and prayer, knowing that God loves us unconditionally, just as we are right now, not some better version we have to work our way up to becoming.

"You, God, are my God… my soul thirsts for you… Your love is better than life… you satisfy me more than the richest of foods." - Psalm 63 (selected verses)

If we try to get satisfaction, fulfillment, and happiness out of earthly things - work included - we'll be left thirsty. Fulfillment comes from being a child of God and resting in His love. As John 1:12 tells us, to all who believed and accepted Him, He gave the right to become children of God. God didn't create us to be human doings; He created us simply to be - His.

When we accept that God is all we need, that being in the love of Jesus is enough, that's the thing that brings true satisfaction. It no longer matters as much where we work, what we're doing, how much we're making, or who we work with. We can experience real satisfaction inside and outside of work when we're secure in who we are - because we know who our Father is, and we know we belong to His family. That security helps us be better workers, helps us clean up hot messes (or at least love the people in them), and keeps us from sabotaging our own lives by asking work to be something it was never meant to be.

An invitation

True satisfaction is found in knowing and following Jesus Christ. If you've never made the decision to make Jesus the Lord of your life, I want to encourage you to do that today. Jesus, God's own Son, loved you so much that He paid the price for your sins so you wouldn't have to be separated from a holy God - and He offers eternal and abundant life to all who put their trust in Him. If you'd like to accept that gift and enjoy the satisfaction that comes from being in His love, you can pray a prayer like this one:

Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I'm a sinner. I know I've done wrong things. Please forgive me of my sins. Right now I ask You to be my personal Savior and the Lord of my life. Help me to turn from my sins and follow You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins, for rising from the grave three days later and taking those sins away, for saving me, and for preparing a place for me. In Jesus' name, amen.

If you prayed that prayer, know that it's the start of a journey - learning more about God's will, becoming more like Jesus, and experiencing more of His love so you can show that love to others. Whether you prayed that prayer today or not, if there's anything we can do to help - questions, next steps, or just someone to pray with you - that's the kind of church Seacoast wants to be. Come find us after a service or reach out anytime.

Thanks for being with us. We hope you'll join us next week as we look at more areas of life that can become hot messes. Until then, may the love of God satisfy you with His unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all of our days.